You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
