Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
Randomize
