I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..