love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.