So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.