Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
We have so much sex to catch up on
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.