Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
