you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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