Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Never underestimate the power of titties
jump out the window naked night went bad
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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