i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
