I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
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