She is in my trunk
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
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He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
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One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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