I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
