oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
