god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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