So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Randomize
