Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Randomize
