Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
