My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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