He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
