Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Randomize
