The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Randomize
