but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
Randomize
