I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
