I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
Randomize
