It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
