but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize
