oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
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