Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Randomize
