I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Randomize
