what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize
