Where is the hickey?
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
Damn victory sex feels great
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize