That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize
