if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
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