Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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