I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
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Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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