it was like having sex with a tree stump
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
i black out too much to be "responsible"
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize