The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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