I want to stick my p in your. b.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Randomize
