So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
