i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
Randomize
