I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
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