Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Randomize
