new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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