no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Randomize
