It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
