Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
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