woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Everyone says I win the strip club
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Randomize
