Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
