kristin has been a bad kristin
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
