A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
