another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
