My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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