you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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