I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Randomize
