you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
