So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
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