i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
There's always time for handjobs
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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