so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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