I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I'm sobbing to NWA
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Randomize
