i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Randomize