I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
