No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Randomize
