the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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