You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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